Building a Personal Brand to Be Proud of

“It’s time to envision the woman you want to be and start showing up as her.”

If you really think about it, your name is the only thing that you ever really own in your whole life, so why not OWN it? If I told you to start thinking about things like self-care, your personal style, the way that you converse with others, the kind of friends and relationships that you have, the way you settle conflict, etc. as deposits into the bank account labeled "my personal brand," would you be rich or poor? Would you consider spending more time trying to become wealthy by investing in yourself so that you can show up as your best self?

We don't often think much about the impact that inanimate objects like clothes have beyond liking them, feeling comfortable in them, and others liking them. But they are much more sentimental than that. Clothes can make or break your day. Clothes have the ability to make you feel and appear confident and qualified for the job, or they can make you seem less qualified and seem to care less. Same thing with personal hygiene.

In college, I would rotate the T-shirts and shorts and sneakers combo that I would wear, and leave my dorm in a messy bun and no makeup because that's what made me comfortable. Why should I dress up for class when all that mattered was showing up? Well, if I could travel back in time, I would tell college me that what matters is HOW you show up. And this concept became important once I left the education bubble and entered the real world. I couldn't afford to have the same disregard for appearance when it came to interviews and then holding a job in the real world. My wardrobe slowly shifted from Forever 21 to Banana Republic Factory (because, let's be real- they have quality business clothes for a fraction of the parent store and you don't need to spend a fortune on clothes to look nice). I found myself spending more money on clothes, makeup, haircuts, etc because I was trying to give off the appearance that I had my life together and to "fake it til you make it." After a couple of years of "faking it," I realized I actually enjoyed splurging on nicer things because it gave me confidence and I felt like I was proud of the image that I was developing for myself. I wasn't faking it at all- I was building a personal brand that I could be proud of. Clothes were just the first step.

Every girl has that one pair of underwear that makes her feel confident. Why is this? Nobody sees it, but the impact that our most concealed garment can have is fascinating. Can you imagine having a whole outfit that makes you confident? What about a whole wardrobe? If you're like me, you have a whole wardrobe of clothes of different categories- clothes that make you feel confident, clothes that are comfy, obligatory clothes that were gifts but just aren't your style, clothes you've outgrown or hope to fit back into,  and clothes that you've held onto for years that you just don't wear anymore. Because clothes carry much more sentimental weight than we realize, it can be hard to let go of the clothes that no longer serve us. Many of us were taught not to waste when growing up, and so we feel obligated to wear clothes until they're worn out entirely. But it doesn't have to be that way!

I think the very first step when thinking of your personal brand is to assess your personal style and how it gets you to be the woman you want to show up as. For me, I love the old money aesthetic, because it gives off an aura of timelessness and elegance. In an industry where I have to sell a service (wedding planning), I realize I must first sell myself through the first impressions that my couples gather from my social media or from our first point of contact. If I am wearing clothes that make me feel elegant and confident, my couples see my brand the same way and they see me as someone they can trust with their classy wedding. And I have noticed that I carry myself differently as well. Once I began to niche down on my personal style and the color, cut, and type of clothes I feel most confident in, I knew it was time to tackle the inevitable: my closet...

I watched an episode of “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” and I was left inspired by the new (to me) organizational tips that Marie put into practice. So I decided to put her book on my wedding registry and someone bought it for us. Her book started with a chapter that addressed a lot of feelings that I was feeling when it came to my clothes- nostalgia, obligation, wishful thinking, and other mixed emotions. In the book, she explained that you only need to tidy once if done well, and the best way to tidy is to dive in deep and do it completely from start to finish. For clothes, this meant the closet. And for the closet, this meant (at the suggestion of Marie but admittedly a little apprehensively) taking out every item of clothing you own and piling it on the bed to look at. I’ll admit that the shock of seeing all of our clothing items accumulated in such a small area had an impact on my husband and I. We had realized just how materialistic we had gotten, and we collected many clothing items which rarely saw the light of day.

Step two was to pick up each individual item one at a time, look at it in the light, feel it, and see if it sparks joy for you (if you need help, this mantra has helped me in many situations like this: if it’s not a hell yes! It’s a no). If not, you simply thank the clothing item for what it has given you over the years (warmth, confidence, etc.), put it in the donate pile and let it go. For this to work to the extent that it needs to, you have to commit yourself fully to the process which means releasing any guilt or obligation you have to keep something. You only need to think about one thing: “Does this currently spark joy- yes or no?” For the clothes that do spark joy, hang them nicely in the closet, organized by season and evenly spaced so that you can easily see everything when you open up the closet.

Getting rid of the clothes that no longer serve you does 3 things:

1) Makes you feel less “heavy” like a weight has been lifted off of you

2) Allows you to take stock of the items that you have and realize what items you need to be on the lookout for next time you go shopping

3) Gives you a closet full of options that you feel your best in (you can no longer use the excuse that you have nothing to wear anymore after doing this).

So you have a shiny clutter-free and confidence-inducing wardrobe. How to you build your personal brand from that?

Celebrity personal stylist Karla Welch shared some really great tips for curating your personal style on her MasterClass series (for those of you who need more help in this area, I highly encourage you to check out her whole MasterClass series). Karla suggested picking your 7 wardrobe staples, the clothing items you wear often or can’t live without. Things that can be versatile or enhance an outfit. Pieces that look good on you. Her examples of her own wardrobe staples included a trench coat, white T-shirt, and blue jeans.

Once you’ve figured out your personal wardrobe staples, you should both make sure that you always have those items on hand and also make sure that when you are shopping you are purchasing pieces that complement your staples. And speaking of compliment, I also suggest you do your homework and research what color palette looks best on you. Try to stick with items that will complement you. Also experiment with different cuts, fabrics, and fits of clothing to see what looks best on you. This will make a world of difference, and will help you get noticed (by a crush, interviewer, friends, family). You’ll feel better in your clothes and it will definitely reflect.

And when I say the right cut, I don’t mean low cut or skin tight. In fact, modesty can be very elegant. You don’t always have to show off your body to turn heads. The right fit of clothing can even make you look smaller, which is something I had to learn the hard way. I spent years holding onto clothes that I once wore in college that I thought I would fit back into at some point and the minute I could fit back into it, I would. Sometimes this meant I was wearing shirts that hugged my curves a little too tight, showed too much skin, or gathered my skin in areas that made me not feel confident. But it was a cute top that I loved and looked good in before what does it matter, right? WRONG. It wasn’t until age 26 that I decided I need to start buying clothes in my current size and not the size I hope to be or could fit into now if I had to. It has honestly made all the difference. No more being self-conscious even though I was wearing a cute outfit, no more discomfort from ill-fitting clothes, no more thinking that I had to lose weight to wear cute clothes or feel confident. I deserve to look cute and feel comfortable and confident in my own skin. And you do, too.

Taking pride in your appearance extends far beyond your clothes. At this time in your life, personal hygiene and a regular skincare routine are also important. Splurge on the manicure, haircut, good skincare products, healthy foods, gym membership, etc. because future you will thank you. Spend money and effort doing the things that make you feel confident and good about yourself, because it makes a world of difference in how you show up. First impressions count, and you only have a brief window to leave one on someone. So, show up as if every impression is a first. When we dress well, we feel good. When we feel good, we appear confident and in control. When we appear confident and in control, we get into positions we may feel we’re not qualified for (but absolutely are). When we get into positions we may feel we’re not qualified for, new doors open. THAT is the magic of personal branding.

Cheers,

Alexandria