The Gap Between the Degree and the Dream
- Alexandria
- 11 hours ago
- 11 min read
Seven years into my career, I still find myself feeling fresh out of college. The imposter syndrome is very real—and so is the steep learning curve that comes with life beyond the classroom. In those early post-grad years, I carried a constant undercurrent of anxiety over everything college never taught me: how to file taxes, buy and maintain a home, budget and invest responsibly, understand credit, open bank accounts, navigate 401(k)s and Roth IRAs, evaluate insurance policies—the list felt endless. I learned most of it in real time, often through trial and error. When too many unfamiliar responsibilities piled up at once, the weight of that knowledge gap felt paralyzing, leaving me overwhelmed and unsure of where to even begin. All of this unfolded while I was simultaneously applying for jobs in my chosen field—roles that demanded experience, yet offered no opportunity to gain it. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
If any part of this resonates with you, this blog was created with you in mind. I began dreaming up this space during my first few years after college, a time when I struggled deeply to adjust to life outside of the academic bubble. In college, I felt sheltered from many of adulthood’s harsher realities. I was surrounded by peers in the same stage of life, followed a flexible schedule, and always had a built-in social rhythm. Graduation, however, brought an abrupt wake-up call. Suddenly, we’re expected to land our first “big girl job” while independently navigating taxes, insurance, and a housing market that feels increasingly out of reach. Although we know the college bubble can’t last forever, many of us—including myself—seriously consider going back for a master’s degree simply to delay the overwhelm. Some move back home to save money, unsure when financial independence will feel attainable. Some land jobs quickly; others search for months, hoping to find something that sparks excitement. What’s universal is the emotional rollercoaster that follows graduation. Despite what social media may suggest, no one is living their dream straight out of college. I certainly wasn’t. I moved into my parents’ guest house with my boyfriend (now husband), hoping he might help me make sense of it all. He was already settled into a career he loved, moving through a steady nine-to-five with confidence and direction. Meanwhile, I found myself alone more often than not—left with my thoughts, job applications, and an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. It was during that quiet, in-between season that I arrived at one undeniable truth: nothing truly prepares you for life after college.
I wanted to change that with this blog. If even to show young adults entering the real world that they aren't alone in that transition. And to share some tips on things that I've picked up on my twenties that could help save the hassle for other people out there.
I have been reading self help books for as long as I can remember- How to Win Friends and Influence People, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Like She Owns the Place, Everything Will Be Okay, to name a few. But for as much as I loved these books, there was one common thread that made them hard to get through. They were unrelatable. It must be so easy to look back on your life after a successful career or after having figured everything out and say what you did right and wrong in your life. Anyone can do that in retrospect. But for those my age, doesn't it make more sense to hear from someone on your same level in life? Someone who is not perfect, not well- established, but an ordinary person who writes about some of their hard lessons learned, present struggles, and attainable wins? Someone who is going through this process with you? That's where I think we can create a sense of community. We can all learn from each other and support each other though this journey, and I think there is something really beautiful about all going through the same things together. So what do you say? Will you fill out this contact form and join this growing community?
I'll start.
My reflection and "Aha!" moment
For me, college was far more than an extension of my education or simply a chance to move away from home. It was a season of self-exploration—a first taste of true independence, where I answered only to myself. It was a time of late nights that bled into early mornings, of boundless energy, and of carrying the quiet (and perhaps naïve) belief that I was invincible. That chapter of my life shaped me in ways I still carry today. Like so many others, I often find myself reminiscing about my college years, wishing—if only briefly—that I could press rewind and relive that version of life when I felt undeniably in my prime. Thoughts of college and nostalgia lingered constantly for those first few years. It wasn't that I wanted to re-live my glory days or anything like that—I’m not clinging to sorority involvement, displaying memorabilia around my home, or making frequent pilgrimages back to campus. But the thoughts of college surfaced often enough, in fleeting moments throughout the day, that I felt compelled to pause and ask myself why. Where were these thoughts coming from? What triggered them? And why did they linger so persistently?
Through much reflection, the answer slowly came into focus. On the surface, it was easy to point to the obvious differences: I was thinner, more disciplined about my health, more flirtatious, and generally happier and more optimistic—at least most of the time. For a while, I convinced myself that these were the reasons I missed college, believing they were things I could recreate. Maybe if I worked out more, ate better, or consciously chose optimism, I would feel like that version of myself again. Maybe hosting big, carefree parties could bring back the excitement of college nights. During the quiet stretches of the COVID-19 pandemic, when time for reflection felt unavoidable, I tested each of these theories—and every one of them fell flat. The longing remained. I even considered pursuing a master’s degree, not out of necessity, but as a way to delay the uncomfortable transition into adulthood and reclaim a familiar sense of belonging. But with more honesty came clarity. I knew that graduate school would never replicate the experience of being eighteen and starting fresh, and I also knew that a master’s degree was unnecessary for my dream of becoming a wedding planner. Now, seven years removed from college, I can finally name the root of it all in a single word: confidence. I have never felt more confident than I did during my college years—and I haven’t fully felt that way since. That confidence shaped how I moved through the world: how I cared for my body, how effortlessly I connected with others, and how joyful dating and social life felt. It wasn’t college itself that I missed—it was the version of myself I was during that time. Entering a career often comes with an overwhelming sense of imposter syndrome, a persistent feeling that you don’t quite belong or haven’t earned your place. That uncertainty can quietly erode your confidence, especially when you begin to realize just how much there is to learn about navigating the real world. And when confidence fades, everything else seems to feel harder, too.
There’s a saying that I think about a lot and try to remind myself to follow. The saying goes “If you’re thinking about the past, you’re living in worry, and if you’re thinking about the future you’re living in fear.” I have wasted so much of my life worrying about the past or fearing the future that I have not been present enough in my own life recently (thinking back to my college days frequently is a prime example of that). And not only is that sad to think about, it’s also not fair to myself, my husband, and those around me. I told you about my own journey of self-reflection on my college days for a few reasons. First, confidence and happiness are topics we’ll explore in later posts because I think they are pretty important. The second reason is to prompt you to think about your own life- do you (like me) spend a lot of time living in the past? Because you may want to start reframing your thoughts to practice being more present in your daily life. This is something that I still need a lot of work in, so we can work on this together! And lastly, because this post is all about the transition from college to real life and eventually a career. This time is so scary and foreign, but you don't have to navigate it alone and without any guidance.
Getting into Your Dream Career ASAP
Transitioning from a sporadic schedule of classes, naps, and late nights to a structured Monday–Friday, nine-to-five routine is no small adjustment. It takes time to come to terms with the fact that you are evolving—entering an entirely new era of personal growth. I call it an “era” because everything truly feels different. Even the way we show up in the world shifts, from how we spend our time to how we dress, as the crop tops and tight little dresses that once felt effortless gradually give way to more intentional choices—or at least appear far less often than they used to. We can’t afford to stay out all night partying before an early morning at work. We don’t get long summer and winter breaks, or spring breaks to take trips. And we can’t have the same napping and sleeping in habits that we used to, to name a few reasons. The fact that this next chapter is so foreign can also make it terrifying. College education gives us some career skills, but not a lot of the life skills that we need to survive afterward. And while I’m still struggling to figure a lot of this stuff out, I’m focusing the rest of this post on how to get your foot into the door of your career after college (or at least some of the things that have worked for me). And it can (and should) start before you even graduate.
If there is ANYTHING that I have learned about getting into your career field after college, it's this:
By the time you graduate, you should have AT THE VERY LEAST:
1) A professional portfolio
2) A polished resume
3) Some experience in your field (whether it’s a big college project you worked on, an internship, volunteer experience, or a previous job. Just something to point to where you used your education and skill set).
4) Some professional clothes
If you are still in college, I would urge you to start on these things right away. Do these with the intention of thinking about where you are now and how you get where you want to be.
So where do you begin? If you want to be in your dream career RIGHT NOW, I have some bad news for you… To get where you want to go, you’ll need to start laying the foundation. Nobody in history became great simply by just “being,” or by willing something to happen. You’re going to have to want it enough to put in the work (and if you don’t, maybe it’s time to pick a new career path). For example, I knew I wanted to be a wedding and event planner. I couldn’t just jump in- my foundation was to volunteer at different types of events, shadow a wedding planner, take a wedding planning course, get a degree in hospitality and Tourism Management, get a job in hotel sales to understand the hotel side of events, get a job in hotel reservations to understand the group room block side of events, get a job at a wedding company, and so on… These were the steps I took just to have a more complete understanding of the career I knew I wanted to have (and this solid foundation/years of experience has helped put me ahead of my peers who did not do similar).
While I was working to understand the industry better, I also worked to get my name out there to anyone who would listen. I attended wedding shows to introduce myself to vendors and see what trends were pin the rise. I would reach out to industry professionals that I looked up to and ask if I could ask them some questions over coffee. I would introduce myself as someone who was going to be a wedding planner, and I think continuously reinforcing that title for me helped my goal seem that much more real and attainable. Laying the foundation is hard work, but it is necessary to get the knowledge and understanding that you need, and to get people to recognize and remember you.
Here are some of the steps that I took before I graduated to become a meeting & wedding planner, and consistently strive to be better at what I do:
Join an association for professionals in my field. I joined associations for both wedding planners in the Sacramento area, and I also joined an association of meeting and event planners. These helped me build knowledge and a network of contacts who were already established in the industry.
Attend networking events. This one is HUGE. Your network is your net worth, so it is so important to build up your list of industry contacts. This is a great way to find a mentor, friend in your same line of work, or contact that you may need to reach out to later. It is so important to build bridges instead of burning them, because you truly never know who you're going to run into or when you may need to rely on your contacts someday.
Get volunteer and job experience related to what you want to do. It's all about building up that portfolio and contact list! All jobs require applicants with experience, but it can be so hard to get that experience unless you intern or have some relevant volunteer experience first.
Introduce yourself as aspiring [title here]. I even designed and ordered business cards for myself, and I would hand them out at wedding shows and industry events. I even splurged and got the business cards that were a little sparkly, and EVERYONE commented on them! That was one way that I stood out from others.
When there is scarcity for jobs, you have to propel yourself above the competition, and those are just a few ways that you can do that. Sometimes you'll have to get creative with it (like turn in your resume on a donut box or something). Because let's be real: although our parents think that we should go into the job we're applying to in a suit and ask to hand our resume directly to the owner or executive of the company, that is just not how things work anymore.
Final Thoughts
If there is one thing I hope you take away from this post, it’s that feeling lost after college does not mean you’re behind—it means you’re human. The transition from college to “real life” is jarring because it asks you to build confidence, stability, and direction all at once, often without a roadmap. Add in imposter syndrome, financial pressure, and the job market’s unrealistic expectations, and it’s no wonder so many of us feel overwhelmed. This phase is not a failure of preparation; it is a season of growth that almost everyone moves through quietly.
Your career, your confidence, and your sense of self will not arrive fully formed the moment you graduate. They are built slowly—through small risks, imperfect steps, and learning as you go. You do not need to have everything figured out right now. What you do need is patience with yourself, the willingness to lay a foundation, and the courage to keep showing up even when you feel unsure. If you’re in this in-between season, know that you are not alone—and you are doing better than you think. This blog exists to walk through it together, one honest conversation at a time.
Fill out my contact form to join my community and be informed when the next post is up.
Cheers,
Alexandria
Comments