This is my Why...

My name is Alexandria, and as the oldest of four siblings, I learned early that leadership often comes before certainty. Much of what I know came through trial and error—learning things the hard way so I could later offer guidance to my siblings, whether to help them avoid my mistakes or reassure them after I had already navigated something myself. I didn’t have that same safety net growing up. I searched for direction in older cousins and role models, only to discover—sometimes painfully—that even those we admire most are still figuring things out.

Carrying the unspoken weight of being the eldest meant striving to be everything at once: the perfect daughter, sister, student, and employee. Like many oldest daughters, I felt a quiet pressure to move through life first—to make the right choices, reach milestones early, and set an example others could follow. My siblings watched closely, and I felt responsible for paving the way in careers, relationships, and adulthood itself. Add to that the familiar dynamic of stricter expectations placed on the firstborn, and I found myself learning resilience, independence, and self-trust long before I realized that perfection was never the point.

If only there was an older sister that had told me that it's okay not to be perfect. Someone who told me that life is messy and you WILL make mistakes, but it's how you recover and grow from them that matters. Someone who shared that they're not perfect, either, and that most adults don't even think they have life figured out. Maybe then I would have lived more in my twenties without fear of judgement or not having all the answers. Maybe I would have grown into myself a lot sooner, made different, bolder, choices, and have experienced more. But you can't dwell on the "what-ifs."

The beautiful thing about your twenties is that (although it feels like these are the years when you need to have your entire life figured out) YOU HAVE TIME. These are not the years that define you (and don't listen to anyone who says so because THAT is some truly unnecessary pressure to put on yourself). As for me? I would not have done my twenties any differently, given the chance. The experiences I had have shaped me into a woman that I am proud to continue becoming each day. I went through my fair share of stress, career moves (including starting my own business- but more on that later!), sleepless nights, friendship wins and breakups, and endless lattes to get to where I am today- and I truly could not be me without it all. So I replace any regrets with gratitude for the growth (yes- even for the growing pains along the way...).

And I want to create a community of women who agree, and want to learn from each other. Because the journey of navigating the unique challenges of womanhood and your young adult life should not feel so lonely or taboo. I think we'll find that a lot of us are out there, figuring things out as we go.

I am starting the Growing Pains & Grace blog near my 29th birthday, with reflections of the moments that have been transformative in my 20's- a crucial time in my career and personal growth. And with those reflections I remember that I used to love to write. So here's to a New Year's resolution of writing more in 2026, and giving all of the sisterly advice that I can along the way.

May you find older-sister wisdom, inspiration, and comfort/joy in being on this journey with me.

Cheers my Dears,

Alexandria